6 Day LP and Other Downers

Every month I feel more and more like I'm being left behind. Every few weeks there's a BFP wave on TTCAL, and as usual I get stuck in the undertow. I'm happy for each and every lady who gets to graduate, I just wish I could move on with them. The ladies who came onto the board about the same time I did (back in Feb) have dwindled to only about a handful. I'm a few months shy of becoming an official TTCAL oldie, something I never wanted to be. If I don't get PG this cycle, next month will be one year since my BFP cycle. I never thought it would take this long to get PG again.



AF came way early for me this weekend giving me a 6 day LP. That was my shortest yet. As I said before, I decided to call and get an appointment with a new doctor (my old doc was awful). First, I called a doc that my GP recommended and her office couldn't get me in until Oct 27. The girl I talked to kind of gave me attitude and didn't seem like she had a clue as to what I was talking about when I briefly explained about my LP's. I wasn't happy, but I made the app anyways, so at least I had something. My SIL is a PA and when she was doing her rotations, she did her OB/GYN one with another area doctor. She spoke pretty highly of him and my boss actually recommended him, too. So, I called his office, also. It was like night and day compared to the first doc's. The office lady I talked to was really nice and very helpful. She was thorough in getting all of my information and offered to help me transfer over my records from my old doc. She was able to get me in on September 20. I'm going to be seeing an infertility nurse (that sounds scary!) for a consultation and then we'll go from there. I feel good about this and I hope it's a step in the right direction.



Sometimes I feel like I just want to give up. We're 19 months into trying. This is our 12th cycle of actively TTC (5th since the last MC). It was never supposed to have taken this long. I'm starting to think, what's even the point anymore? Even if I do get PG, it's not like I'll be able to keep it. Maybe the app in a few weeks will renew my want to try, but right now, I'm pretty, "meh" about the whole situation.

The one good thing about this weekend was Labor Day. It was a three day weekend, and on Monday I ran my first 5k since my Sr year of XC (9 years ago this fall!). I was nervous leading up to it, but it went really well. My time was 24:56 and I came in 5th in my age division. Admittedly, it was probably the easiest course I've ever ran (all pavement and 80% down hill), but I'll take it! I've gotten so excited about running again that I have plans to run six more races in the coming weekends. They probably won't be all as easy, but now at least I have a time to beat. My personal best back when I ran XC was 23:23. I'd love to be able to run that again!



Lots of Love,
KJsbabe