One Year Ago Today

One year ago today my world came crashing down around me. It was our second pg and I should have been 10w6d. KJ and I went in for an u/s and found our LO was gone. Heartbroken doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I was so angry and upset that this had happened to us again. What did we do to deserve this? At that point I didn't know if I would ever heal from the pain I felt. I remember sitting on the couch that night doing shots of vodka so I would just stop feeling...

Today, though, surprisingly has been a good day. I woke up this morning and decided to give the doppler another go. I had got it in the mail on Monday and wasn't able to hear LO's HB that night and got pretty discouraged. The PgAL ladies told me to put it away for a couple days and try again later. So, that's what I did. With in five minuets of trying this morning I had found it! "Squish, squish, squish, squish, squish, squish" Best sound ever!! It was a very different sound than my own HB (I had gotten pretty good at finding that!) which was a slow "squish, squish... squish, squish... squish, squish".

Hearing LO's HB has made all the difference. I was prepared to have a really down day. Just knowing, though, that today of all days, my baby has a HB, it's the most wonderful and comforting thing I could ask for. I'm tearing up as I wright this! Geez these pg hormones! This LO might have a shot after all...

I will always love and miss my lost LO's, but today, I'm ok. Finally!

Here comes the sun, and I say, it's alright...

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe