My Follow-up Appointment

"I'd give you everything I've got for a little peace of mind"

Yesterday was my f/u appointment for the u/s I had on Friday. My doctor said the lining in my uterus looked a little thick and wants me to have a D&C to take it out. Hopefully after that my cycles will return to normal.

I'm really hurt and angry that he made me wait this long to have it done. This should have been done shortly after we found out about the BO. Four months. If I had had this done back then, I would have gotten AF by now, we could have been TTC by now, I could have been pg again by now. I feel like he stole this time from me. I'm never going to get these months back. They are lost and waisted. I feel like I've lost my baby all over again.

I posted about my f/u on the TTCAL board last night. The support those ladies give is amazingly overwhelming. They are so wonderful and I am blessed to be a part of their group. They understand when no one else does.

"Did you think this would all be much easier than it turned out to be?... Don't we get to be happy, Kathy? At some point down the line don't we get to relax?"

So, the D&C is scheduled for Thursday morning (4/21). I just want this to be over

"I could never rescue you, no matter how I tried. All I could do was love you hard and let you go... I will be waiting. I will keep waiting for you."

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe