Well, this month was a bust. I was really hopeful at the beginning, but once my temp dropped yesterday, I knew AF would show up shortly. Also, I'm back to my 9 day LP. I need to find a way to get an appointment with that new doctor. She won't see me just to chat, but I really feel like there's something going on with me. Everything I've read says that 10 days and bellow isn't good. It's probably because I'm PMS'ing but I'm really grumpy about it today and I'm pissed off that no one will talk to me about it. I'm so tired, I just want to go back to bed.
This next month will be the last one where we could get PG and be able to announce it at ALF. Every year DH and I, and all of our old college friends go back to Clarion for homecoming and the Autumn Leaf Festival. Since we started trying I have been looking forward to having a bump at ALF, and later taking our babies to show off to all of our friends and old professors. If I got PG this cycle I would be 16w then. I wouldn't have a huge bump, but it would be something, and we would have a 6mo old for the following year. I am hopeful...
If I don't get PG this cycle, but do the next, I would only be 12w at ALF. That seems like it would still be too close to the high risk 1st tri to announce comfortably. This past time, we told some close friends at 10w and I still really regret it. I don't think I'll really be comfortable telling anyone until, like, 20+w. Maybe after we find out the sex, I'll be able to relax... When ever that happens.
As bummed as I am about cd1, I'm still very grateful that we can try at all. I keep thinking back to the four months of hell, and it makes me very thankful that I have my cycle back and we are able to actively TTC. This is cycle #2 post MC, cycle #9 overall.
"Tomorrow we can follow through with all that we've begun. Tomorrow we'll be free, my love. We'll never be afraid."
Lots of Love,
KJsbabe
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