I Have a Baby in Me!!

We had our second u/s this morning. I was so incredibly nervous before hand. I was so sure we weren't going to get good news. I guess I've just gotten used to getting bad news that I assume it will happen every time. But the app could not have gone better! Such a relief! I'm so happy I feel like crying!

My doctor started out with the usual "how do you feel" stuff. He said it's a very good sign I've been having ms since I really didn't have it last time. He did an internal exam and said my ute felt excellent! Huge sigh of relief right there. Then, we saw the tech who did the u/s (she's always so nice and cheery!). Right away we saw our LO with a little flicking HB. S/he is measuring 8w1d, which going by my O date is dead on. Our official EDD is 7/8/12, which is what I thought, but it's nice to have the conformation. LO is 1.7cm long and has a heart rate of 174!! My baby has a HB!!



Our next app will be the NT scan. I'll be 12w on Christmas day and of corse my doctor is going to be out of town that week, so we have to wait until Janurary 4 when I'll be 13w3d. We were planning on announcing on New Years at midnight, but it looks like that will have to wait now. I'm just not comfortable announcing until after the scan. It's a small inconvenience, though! I'm just happy that there's a little peanut in me! We were only going to see KJ's dad and family at New Years, so we were going to have to make the rounds again to his mom's and my family anyways. A little disappointing, but certainly not the end of the world. I just hope KJ doesn't try to talk me into announcing anyways...



Before our app, all I could think was that I was in the exact same spot I was in last year at this time. I was ~8w and we went in the Monday after Thanksgiving for an u/s (our first) and found out our LO wasn't growing properly. S/he only measured 6w and by the time we went back to check on growth, our LO was gone. There are so many similarities on the time line with my current pg and last years, it's so hard not to compare. One thing that isn't similar, though, is that I have a, so far, healthy 8w baby with a HB. Even though I was pg for longer with the last, this is the most actually pg I've ever been. Milestone!!

It seems so long until our next app! I have to wait all the way til next year. One good thing, though, is that the holidays will be much better this year than last. I have to admit, I was decorating the house for Christmas this weekend and I couldn't help but think about how broken hearted I was when I put all of those decorations away last January. This has been a hard year all around, with the MC that never ended and both KJ and I lossing a grandfather. 2012 will be much better, I just know it! A year of new beginnings!

This was me on Sunday: 2 months!! (We're fall themed for November, if you couldn't tell!)

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

First Snow, Food aversion, and Days of nausea

Friday morning KJ and I woke up to our first snow of the year. We got a pretty heavy dusting. It was Colby-Jack's first time really seeing snow. He was born at the end of February, but I don't think he was old enough to really see it before it all melted this spring. He didn't seem to mind the snow. I think he was more interested in eating it than anything! By lunch time it was all melted and hasn't been back since. I'm sure we'll see it back perminatly very soon.

Friday was also my first day of food aversions. It started out just mainly as sweets. I usually love cookies, but I couldn't even stand to look at the chocolate chunk cookies KJ bought me. :( I felt bad. Then on Saturday, I added meat to the yuck-o list. Or at least processed meat. We had chicken nuggets for dinner and they tasted pretty gross. Sunday fruit got a little iffy, but I think it's ok now. This morning I pretty much didn't want to eat any thing. The only thing that sounds good right now are carbs and occasionally cheese. Ugh... I can't wait until the first tri is over!

Today is also the first day I feel like I could actually throw up. Yuck! It's probably party my food aversions fault, since I haven't felt like eating anything. They say you feel worse when you don't eat, so I've been munching on popcorn. No puking yet, but ginger ale has definitely been my bestie today. I think I might try going to 5 or 6 small meals a day insted if my regular 3 big ones. I've been feeling incredibly bloated after eating lately and I seem to feel better just snacking.

The only thing about snacking, though, is I'm afraid I'm going to give myself away at work. I sit at the back of a room by the kitchenette with three other people. Every time I have to go to the bathroom (which has been a lot lately) I have to walk by every one. Every time someone goes to the kitchen (which is pretty often) they have to walk by me and can see everything I'm doing. Maybe I'm just paranoid! I don't mind my supervisor knowing I'm pg (I havn't told her yet) because she knows about my losses and she's very discrete with personal matters. She actually recommended my OB to me when I was looking for a new one. The other people I work with, though, are very , umm, not discrete. They are in your face, let's talk about every little detail, kind of people. I don't want them knowing anything about my losses, or being pg, or anything else until I'm much further along. Ugh, this is going to be difficult... Any suggestions on sneaky snacking??

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

I Didn't Expect November to be so Nice

November has been a wonderful month so far. The weather has been amazing for this time of year. It's been in the 60's all week, which for western PA is unheard of in November. I just wish Daylight Savings had held off a week or two so when I get home from work it was actually still light out and I could enjoy the nice weather. Oh well.

Other things have been nice, too. It's been two whole weeks since my BFP and I'm still pg! Today I'm 5w4d. This is the point in my first pg that I MC'ed. It's been kind of a personal milestone for me today that everything is still doing well. My third beta check from Thursday came back at 1254. Another great number! I had my fourth and final check on Monday which came back at 6320. Woo hoo! So here's the list for anyone who's been keeping track (like me!):

Oct 28 (12 dpo) - 82.8
Oct 31 (15dpo) - 383
Nov 3 (18dpo) - 1254
Nov 7 (22dpo) - 6320

Those are some great looking numbers, if I do say so myself! My last beta was high enough that my OB nurse scheduled me for an early ultrasound today. KJ and I got to see the sac, but no fetal pole or heartbeat yet. Since I'm still so early, we were expecting that. The u/s tech said that the sac was measuring right on track, though, which was great. At least we know that it's in there and, so far, it's doing what it should be doing. I have another appointment with my OB nurse on Tuesday (11/15), but I'm not sure if I'll get to have another u/s or not. I hope so. A lot of the PgAL ladies said that when they went in a 6w they didn't see a HB yet, but when they went back a few days later, it was there. I'm not too concerned about it. I'm choosing to have faith.

Also, today I had my app with the infectious diseases doctor. She literately told me, "I don't know why you're here!" She said that 9 times out of 10 when chicken pox comes up positive like that it just means that at some point recently I was exposed to the virus. Also, because I'm pg now, she doesn't even deal with prenatal care so she has no idea how to even treat me if I did have it. She said she was going to consult with Magee Woman's Hospital down in Pittsburgh and see what they had to say about it. All in all, it was a pretty pointless appointment! It literately took longer to take my BP and temp than the whole consolation with the doctor took. A whole morning off work wasted.... Oh well, at least we're 90% sure it's nothing.

"Good day Sunshine!"

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

Betas are Coming in!

It's been a whole week since I got my BFP and I'm still pregnant! Such a relief! On Monday I got my first beta number back from my Friday b/w. I was at 82.8, was is a good start. Since I'm officially pg by medical standards now, my doctor put me on progesterone suppositories, Endometrine 100mg 2x a day. Just being on it makes my mind more at ease. I'm not worrying so much now if my LO has enough of what it needs to grow on or not. On Tuesday I got my second beta number back from my Monday b/w which was 383. Yay for quadrupling numbers! I went in again today and then Monday (11/7) for more checks. Hopefully we'll still see the doubling numbers we need. My OB nurse (not my IF nurse anymore! Same lady, though) said that as long as I get a good number on Monday she'll have be come in for an early u/s next week. So exciting! I need some major FX'ing!

I'm still extremely nervous about this pregnancy. Sometimes it feels like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hate this feeling. I'm trying my best to stay hopeful and trust in God, but I'm so scared. I had a tiny bit of pink spotting last night a freaked the eff out. It happened right before bed and it was all I could do to fall a sleep. Today, it's just been a bit of brown, so that's been a huge relief. I think what happened was I got a little to firm with the progesterone applicator. I will definitely be more careful from now on! Please that be the last scare I have with this pg!

My symptoms have started to increase, which only makes me feel better. My (.)(.) are much more sore today than they have been, I have a bit of light cramping now and then, and I could really go for a nap. Bring on the morning sickness!

"I want it all!"

I'm anxiously awaiting my third beta check which I'll probably get back tomorrow. Please double, LO! Mommy loves you!!

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe



P.S. On a side note, I unfortunately was in the musical Baby in college. It was such a horrendous production I seem to have successfully blocked out of my mind. I only remembered how funny and ridiculous the songs were and didn't seem to remember how annoying and ear splitting the "Broadway" (I use that term very loosely) soundtrack was. I've removed the song "I Want it All" from the playlist because I figure if I can't stand it, you probably can't either! Instead, enjoy the lyrics:

I want it all
I want it all
I want the whole female experience in a ball
I want it all
I want the morning sickness and the elations
I want every known female sensation
I want to be Scarlett O’Hara, Joan of Arc, Lauren Bacall
I want it all!