23 Months Old!

One more month until my little Lexi turns 2! Yikes! How can she be this old already?! This month she has turned into a little parrot, repeating everything I say. Or what anybody else says, for that matter! She says things like, "lemme check", "be right back", "I get black pen", "no likey", "lemme help", "oh honey", She's even starting to say full sentences like "Jenny push baby swing". A while back on Easter KJ's sister Jenny came over. She was playing with Lexi outside and pushed her for a while on the swing. That apparently made a huge impression on Lexi because she hasn't stopped talking about it! Every time she swings in the baby swing she says it at least 10 times. "Jenny push baby swing!" 

Another thing that made a big impression was meeting Daniel Tiger a month or so ago. I put a picture of her and Daniel on the fridge and she points to it and says, "Big Daniel! Big Daniel!" I'm not sure when long term memory kicks in, but she can definitely remember back to things a few months ago now. Pretty cool!

 
 

The "tabby" continues to be her absolute favorite toy. A month or so ago I bought an older iPad mini off a friend of ours. I got a nice kid friendly case for it and Lexi and I share it. Her favorite apps are Endless Numbers, Elmo Calls, Goldilocks, the Daniel Tiger apps, and the PBS app. 

Lexi can count to 10! She got 1-5 down last month and has added 6-10 this month. I'm so proud of how she's starting to pick things up like that! Some times she gets the numbers mixed up or forgets some "1, 3, 5, 6, 8-9-10!"

One thing Lexi has been struggling with this month is a persistent cough. She caught a bad cold at the beginning of the month and she's had this cough ever since. I took her to the doctor twice for it because it was pretty bad and they seem to think it's allergies. We tried children's Claritin and did see much difference. So then they put her on a children's Singular. I honestly haven't seen a difference with it either. The cough has gotten better, but she still gets it bad when she naps and sleeps at night. I'm hoping it will clear up soon!

Favorite books this month have been "Snow White and Rose Red", "Clifford the Champion", "Clifford the Big Red Dog", "Daniel Tiger Welcome to the Neighborhood", and "May I Bring a Friend".

She's such a goof ball sometimes!

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

8 Weeks a Down, 32 More to Go!

I'm 8w today! 2 whole months! I took my first bump pic today. I think I'm showing already and my boobs are super tiny! I've never been very well endowed, but when Lexi weaned they shrunk down to a new low. I'm barely filling out my pre pregnancy bras. I thought that when I got pregnant again they would go back up, but no such luck yet. 

Anyways, one more week until my next u/s. I'm getting nervous. I go back and forth between feeling like things will be ok and like it's all going to end next week. 

Things that make me nervous:

My only constant symptom is fatigue

I don't think my MS episode was really MS, I think I had a stomach bug

I don't "feel" pregnant

No mild cramping

This feels like my 2nd pregnancy 

Late O

Things that make me feel better:

My growing bloat bump

Things falling into place with monitoring and progesterone

Constant fatigue

Hungry all the time, but oddly not gaining weight

Cravings

So, I'm nervous because I've had so little symptoms. I know no two pregnancies are the same, but I had so many symptoms with Lexi from the start. With my second pregnancy, though, I made it to 11w but our baby never grew past 6w. I kept waiting to feel pregnant, to feel different some how, but I felt pretty normal... Just like I do now. I also O'd late on cd22. My first BFP I O'd on cd20, and BFP#2 I O'd on cd21. But with Lexi I O'd early on cd17. I've always been worried about my egg quality Oing late.

I don't think that what I thought was MS the other week really was. Normally with morning sickness you feel better when you eat. I felt better when I didn't eat. I threw up at least a dozen time, I only threw up once with Lexi. TMI: I had about three days of diarrhea. It was a struggle to keep anything down or in. I had lots of indigestion and intestinal cramping. I lost 4lbs because I could eat anything. It was a pretty miserable week! So, looking back I think it was a stomach bug, not a pregnancy symptom. 

I'm in a FB group with some old PgAL moms. A lot of them have already successfully had baby #2. Well, one of the newly pregnant ladies asked today how cramping was in the first few weeks the second time around. Every lady who responded said that cramping was way worse the second time. I've had little to no cramping :/ A couple sore minuets here and there, but really minimal. With Lexi I had tons of cramping. 

But the things that make me fell better about this pregnancy... It seems like everything had fallen into place. I got pregnant on my testing/ monitoring cycle, so my doctor knew that I O'd a week "late" (cd22). So when I went in for my first u/s, it was no surprise I was measuring a week "behind". Also I was able to get on progesterone before my BFP this time.

I've had a ton of bloat since 4w, and it keeps growing. It makes me hopeful that there's really something in there growing! I've been super tired since very early on. At first I thought it was because I went cold turkey on caffeine, but I wasn't that much of a caffeine addict :) Like even right now, I could totally go for a nap! I'm also hungry all the time and keep craving roast beef, chicken, and burgers. I'm normally a very minimal meat person. I like chicken, but I'll only do red meat if I have to. I' also not gaining weight like I normally do. I usually have no problem at aaaallllll gaining wight. If I eat the wrong thing at the wrong time of day, I'll wake up 2lbs heavier in the morning! Well, I lost 4lbs during my "morning sickness" and have only been able to gain 2 back. Totally the opposite from Lexi pregnancy when I was up 10lbs before the end of the 1st tri!!

So in short, I'm nervous. But I'm really trying not to worry until I have a reason to worry. Right now, everything is in my head. I know that plenty of women have O'd late and had perfectly healthy babies. I know that plenty of women have not had MS and had perfectly healthy babies. So, for today I am pregnant, and I love my baby.

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

We Have a Little Bean!

I had my first ultrasound this morning. I did pretty well with PgAL Bain leading up to it. I had a minor freak out last night, but got through it. 

Remember to hold on to hope!

We got to see our little bean right away at the u/s! I could see a little pixel flickering as soon as the nurse settled in on baby. Such a relief!! The heartbeat was 135, right where we are supposed to be at this point. Baby measured 6w4d, which is one day behind my O day, but I'm not too concerned. I know u/s machines aren't 100% accurate, and with baby being so small still it's easy to be a day or two off. So, yay!! I have a baby in my belly!!

My EDD got moved back by one day, so we're January 8 now. My doctor already is planning to schedule me for a repeat c/s, which will likely be at 39 weeks. So we are looking at a possible New Years baby! Crazy! You know, back when KJ and I first started TTC, I was naive and thought that I could "plan" when I wanted my baby's birthday to be. The only two months I really didn't want to have a baby in were July (tons of family birthdays that month, just way too many) and December/ January (too close to Christmas). And what do you know... I have an end of June girl and a New Years baby on the way. There's karma for you! Haha! (Of corse I am thrilled with our baby to be, no matter when they are born!!)

My next u/s is June 5 at 9 weeks, just for a peace of mind check, because my doctor is that awesome. Then our NT scan will be June 26 at 12 weeks. It doesn't seem like that far away at all! Totally with in reach! Before Lexi turns 2 even!! I'm feeling so blessed right now :) 

*Please keep growing LO!!*

Lots of Love, 

KJsbabe

I feel like I'm going to puke...

Happy 29th birthday to me! :D

Seriously, I'm so excited I couldn't eat my birthday cake tonight because I thought I was going to throw up!

(I was going to put a picture of a birthday cake here... But they seriously all look gross... Blah)

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

PgAL Brain is Starting to Set in

I don't feel pregnant. My only symptom to speak of is being really tired all the time. Other than that 95% of the time I feel completely normal. I've had very little cramping or ute discomfort, which makes me think that my ute is not growing. My breasts are not tender. I am bloated a bit, but it also might be the pound and a half of chocolate chips I've eaten the past week. I know symptoms =/= healthy baby but.... I had very little symptoms with my first two pregnancies and they didn't end well. I had a ton of symptoms from early on with Lexi's pregnancy.

The first week I was just blissfully pregnant! Just happy to have that BFP! I've been so excited to think about the future, about what the summer and fall will bring, moving Lexi to a big girl bed, get new LO's room ready, pinning a ton of ideas on Pintrest. I kept telling myself, no matter how long or short of time I have with this LO, I want to enjoy this pregnancy. My betas came back well. 26 at 12dpo and 454 at 19dpo, 40 hour doubling time. Not as good as Lexi's, but still well with in the normal range. All of my FRER were getting progressively darker. So far so good.

But now a week later, the doubt has started to set in. I don't feel pregnant. My first u/s is a week from today, and while I'm hoping for good news, I'm mentally preparing for bad. I want to meet this baby in January and I've been making so many plans in my head. I have a feeling they are all going to be crushed. I'm not this lucky. 

I past my first loss milestone of 5w4d, which feels good. But with my second, had I not had an u/s I would have made it all the way to 14w before I started to MC. My body just didn't recognize the loss. A friend of mine IRL just went through her first MC. They were TTC for 17 months before she got her BFP, then a week later it was over. Two days later I got my BFP... She is the kindest, sweetest, most Godly, just best all around person I know. I know it doesn't work like that, but how on Earth would I deserve a baby over her? I feel guilty. I haven't even told her I'm pregnant yet because it happen so soon after her loss. We had been keeping up on each other TTC wise. If I am lucky enough to keep this baby, I don't know how I'm going to tell her. My EDD is a week after hers. With my second loss a friend of mine got pregnant at the same time, same EDDs even. It was so hard to watch her go though her pregnancy and get to experience all the things I should have been experiencing. I had to stop talking to her for a while because it was too painful. I never want to be the cause of that pain for someone else.

But for better or worse, I am on this journey. Only God knows what the outcome will be. I've been praying every night for our new LO. Praying that they grow healthy and strong, and that we get to meet them in January.

Lots of Love, 

KJsbabe