First Snow, Food aversion, and Days of nausea

Friday morning KJ and I woke up to our first snow of the year. We got a pretty heavy dusting. It was Colby-Jack's first time really seeing snow. He was born at the end of February, but I don't think he was old enough to really see it before it all melted this spring. He didn't seem to mind the snow. I think he was more interested in eating it than anything! By lunch time it was all melted and hasn't been back since. I'm sure we'll see it back perminatly very soon.

Friday was also my first day of food aversions. It started out just mainly as sweets. I usually love cookies, but I couldn't even stand to look at the chocolate chunk cookies KJ bought me. :( I felt bad. Then on Saturday, I added meat to the yuck-o list. Or at least processed meat. We had chicken nuggets for dinner and they tasted pretty gross. Sunday fruit got a little iffy, but I think it's ok now. This morning I pretty much didn't want to eat any thing. The only thing that sounds good right now are carbs and occasionally cheese. Ugh... I can't wait until the first tri is over!

Today is also the first day I feel like I could actually throw up. Yuck! It's probably party my food aversions fault, since I haven't felt like eating anything. They say you feel worse when you don't eat, so I've been munching on popcorn. No puking yet, but ginger ale has definitely been my bestie today. I think I might try going to 5 or 6 small meals a day insted if my regular 3 big ones. I've been feeling incredibly bloated after eating lately and I seem to feel better just snacking.

The only thing about snacking, though, is I'm afraid I'm going to give myself away at work. I sit at the back of a room by the kitchenette with three other people. Every time I have to go to the bathroom (which has been a lot lately) I have to walk by every one. Every time someone goes to the kitchen (which is pretty often) they have to walk by me and can see everything I'm doing. Maybe I'm just paranoid! I don't mind my supervisor knowing I'm pg (I havn't told her yet) because she knows about my losses and she's very discrete with personal matters. She actually recommended my OB to me when I was looking for a new one. The other people I work with, though, are very , umm, not discrete. They are in your face, let's talk about every little detail, kind of people. I don't want them knowing anything about my losses, or being pg, or anything else until I'm much further along. Ugh, this is going to be difficult... Any suggestions on sneaky snacking??

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

I Didn't Expect November to be so Nice

November has been a wonderful month so far. The weather has been amazing for this time of year. It's been in the 60's all week, which for western PA is unheard of in November. I just wish Daylight Savings had held off a week or two so when I get home from work it was actually still light out and I could enjoy the nice weather. Oh well.

Other things have been nice, too. It's been two whole weeks since my BFP and I'm still pg! Today I'm 5w4d. This is the point in my first pg that I MC'ed. It's been kind of a personal milestone for me today that everything is still doing well. My third beta check from Thursday came back at 1254. Another great number! I had my fourth and final check on Monday which came back at 6320. Woo hoo! So here's the list for anyone who's been keeping track (like me!):

Oct 28 (12 dpo) - 82.8
Oct 31 (15dpo) - 383
Nov 3 (18dpo) - 1254
Nov 7 (22dpo) - 6320

Those are some great looking numbers, if I do say so myself! My last beta was high enough that my OB nurse scheduled me for an early ultrasound today. KJ and I got to see the sac, but no fetal pole or heartbeat yet. Since I'm still so early, we were expecting that. The u/s tech said that the sac was measuring right on track, though, which was great. At least we know that it's in there and, so far, it's doing what it should be doing. I have another appointment with my OB nurse on Tuesday (11/15), but I'm not sure if I'll get to have another u/s or not. I hope so. A lot of the PgAL ladies said that when they went in a 6w they didn't see a HB yet, but when they went back a few days later, it was there. I'm not too concerned about it. I'm choosing to have faith.

Also, today I had my app with the infectious diseases doctor. She literately told me, "I don't know why you're here!" She said that 9 times out of 10 when chicken pox comes up positive like that it just means that at some point recently I was exposed to the virus. Also, because I'm pg now, she doesn't even deal with prenatal care so she has no idea how to even treat me if I did have it. She said she was going to consult with Magee Woman's Hospital down in Pittsburgh and see what they had to say about it. All in all, it was a pretty pointless appointment! It literately took longer to take my BP and temp than the whole consolation with the doctor took. A whole morning off work wasted.... Oh well, at least we're 90% sure it's nothing.

"Good day Sunshine!"

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

Betas are Coming in!

It's been a whole week since I got my BFP and I'm still pregnant! Such a relief! On Monday I got my first beta number back from my Friday b/w. I was at 82.8, was is a good start. Since I'm officially pg by medical standards now, my doctor put me on progesterone suppositories, Endometrine 100mg 2x a day. Just being on it makes my mind more at ease. I'm not worrying so much now if my LO has enough of what it needs to grow on or not. On Tuesday I got my second beta number back from my Monday b/w which was 383. Yay for quadrupling numbers! I went in again today and then Monday (11/7) for more checks. Hopefully we'll still see the doubling numbers we need. My OB nurse (not my IF nurse anymore! Same lady, though) said that as long as I get a good number on Monday she'll have be come in for an early u/s next week. So exciting! I need some major FX'ing!

I'm still extremely nervous about this pregnancy. Sometimes it feels like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hate this feeling. I'm trying my best to stay hopeful and trust in God, but I'm so scared. I had a tiny bit of pink spotting last night a freaked the eff out. It happened right before bed and it was all I could do to fall a sleep. Today, it's just been a bit of brown, so that's been a huge relief. I think what happened was I got a little to firm with the progesterone applicator. I will definitely be more careful from now on! Please that be the last scare I have with this pg!

My symptoms have started to increase, which only makes me feel better. My (.)(.) are much more sore today than they have been, I have a bit of light cramping now and then, and I could really go for a nap. Bring on the morning sickness!

"I want it all!"

I'm anxiously awaiting my third beta check which I'll probably get back tomorrow. Please double, LO! Mommy loves you!!

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe



P.S. On a side note, I unfortunately was in the musical Baby in college. It was such a horrendous production I seem to have successfully blocked out of my mind. I only remembered how funny and ridiculous the songs were and didn't seem to remember how annoying and ear splitting the "Broadway" (I use that term very loosely) soundtrack was. I've removed the song "I Want it All" from the playlist because I figure if I can't stand it, you probably can't either! Instead, enjoy the lyrics:

I want it all
I want it all
I want the whole female experience in a ball
I want it all
I want the morning sickness and the elations
I want every known female sensation
I want to be Scarlett O’Hara, Joan of Arc, Lauren Bacall
I want it all!

This Time Around

Where do I even start? I guess I'll just say it. I'm pregnant!!!! I'm still a little in shock and don't fully believe it yet. I'm really nervous and scared, but I'm trusting God, and whatever happens, I know he will take care of me.

I thought beyond a doubt that I had gotten AF on Tuesday. For me, it was "on time" and my temps went down like normal. Then Thursday rolled around and I had a huge temp spike. At that point Crazy-Girl-KJ came out and thought, "Well I know AF is here, but it's been pretty light and with that temp spike... I could still be pg, right??" I took a wondof and got a barely there BFP. Shocked!



I called my IF nurse and she said that what I thought was AF was probably really implantation bleeding. Now, I've always read that implantation bleeding is normally just a tiny bit of spotting, and I defiantly had a full on flow for a day and a half. That alone makes me pretty nervous. I spotted a bit Thursday and it's pretty much stopped yesterday. I'd be lying if I said, I have a lot of faith this pg will last. I'm trying to stay positive, though. For now, for today, I am pregnant!

Yesterday morning I took the plunge and tested with a EPT digital. Seeing a definitive "Pregnant" made this much more believable. I went yesterday afternoon for a blood test. I won't get my numbers back until Monday, though.



Last week at my follow up app I opted to have a RPL panel ran and it's a good thing I did. I got the results yesterday and it came back with one mutation of MTHFR, C677T. My doctor wants me to start taking extra folic acid starting ASAP. After my +blood test comes back on Monday, he'll also put me on progesterone supplements. It sucks that I have to wait all the way until Monday, though. I have some progesterone cream that I've been putting on my wrists, but it's no where near as potent as the supplements will be. Hang on till Monday, LO!

^^This is why I love my new OB! He's so proactive. If I had stayed with my old OB, I'd probably be in line for another MC. I actually feel like I have a chance of keeping this LO now.

I announced my BFP on TTCAL and intro'ed on PgAL yesterday. I was nervous, but the support from those ladies was just overwhelming. They have been such a blessing and have really helped me get through my last lost and everything that came with it. I hope they know how much they mean to me!

"All I know's that the fear has got to go this time around."

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

Morning With the Boys

Every morning there's an obstacle corse in my kitchen while I'm trying to make lunches. The boys are very lovey in the morning.

Colby-Jack, Casper, and Tucker

Another Busy Week

On Wednesday this week (10/19) KJ and I went to my follow up app with my new OB. He had some questions about the SA that I wasn't answering very well, so it was good he went with me and got some answers. We got some good news and some, I guess, interesting news. The interesting news is that my doctor has dx me with the "thin person's" version of PCOS. All of my additional b/w came back normal (testosterone, TSH, insulin, glucose, ect), but the two main things pointing to it are my unbalanced FSH & LH and a cyst on my right ovary. I guess this isn't the worst thing in the world. My doctor said it's very treatable, especially in my "thin person" state. Since everything else was clean, I don't have to be on any meds or anything. I feel like this is really just a "label" for my fertility issues. He said next time I get pg I'll be monitored very closely and be put on progesterone right away. I was very glad to hear that!

On to the good news: we got the exact numbers back from KJ's SA (before the nurse just told me they were "good"). His count was 90mil with 70% motility! My doctor thinks that the reason we haven't gotten pg again yet has something to do with the mysterious white blood cells they found in his sample. He said it's probably a minor infection and the urologist will give him some antibiotics to help clear it up. He was very confident that after that's taken care of, I'll be pg in no time.

With only two MC's my doctor doesn't consider me to have reoccurring pg loss, but offered to do an RPL panel anyways. I did that b/w on today (all 10 viles!). I also have a SIS on November 1 to check for polyps and fibroids. I figured we might as well continue with the testing while we're waiting for DH's urologist app next month. In the mean time, he wants us to continue trying on our own and if I'm not pg by January he'll start me on a couple cycles of clomid. He didn't want to start me on it now if DH's sperm aren't in top shape. I had thought that we might start on the clomid right away, but I get why he wants to wait. It made me feel really good that's he's so sure I'll be pg in the next next few months. I hope he's right!

Yesterday my IF nurse called to tell me that the recheck for chickenpox that I did on Monday, came back positive again. *le sigh* She set me up with a referral app with an infectious diseases doctor. It's possible that this is just a false positive, meaning there's no active infection, but she wants me to get this checked out now rather than later. If I were to get pg with a live infection, it can be all kinds of bad and cause some serious birth defects. My mom swears that I had them as a baby, so I have no idea why this is coming up. My app with the ID doctor is on November 10.

We got the bill for KJ's SA in the mail today. It's the first bill we've gotten from the testing so far. It was only $16.05!! Phew! A lot of insurances don't cover IF related things and I'm so glad our's does.

I have to say, I am so, so grateful I finally found a good doctor with an amazing staff. I feel like when I bring up a concern or a question they actually listen and take it seriously. They don't brush me off as just another silly patient with a dumb question. All of the testing they've offered has been exactly what I was looking and hoping for. I feel like we're finally on the right track!

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

Where to Start?

Where to start? So much has been going on! Busy busy. You had better grab your popcorn now, because this is going to be a long one!

 
 
On Sept 20 I had an appointment with an infertility nurse at my new OB's for a consultation. She was really nice. I explained to her everything about trying, MC #1, the whole MC #2 debacle, and my short LP's. She was really wonderful about everything. She knew exactly what I was talking about and jumped right in to talking about testing and Clomid. She said that because we've been trying for a year and a half and have had two MC's, I qualify for testing with them. When she said I should start charting my BBT, I got really excited and said, "I love charting!". She was very open to looking at my charts (my old OB pretty much rolled his eyes at my charts) and even complimented how neat and organized FF was. The plan we came up with was on my next cycle to do CD3 blood work, a HSG on CD7, and a SA for KJ. The app really could not have gone better.

Mine and KJ's 4th wedding anniversary was on Sept 22. I was really sick all that week, so we had a low key celebration of take out, a movie, and FWP. I, of coarse, was O'ing while I was sick, but I wasn't about to give up on a perfectly good month just because I wasn't feeling well. We ended up going out to a nice dinner that weekend to celebrate properly.

I had made up my mind that I wasn't going to test until Monday, Oct 3, because I was planning on running two races that weekend. If I did happen to get a BFP, I didn't want to be thinking, "OMG, I'm PG, I'm so scarred to run!" I wanted to be able to run well and not have any emotional distraction. Well. I didn't even make it to my test date. AF came Friday (Sept 30) night and gave me another 7 day LP. Joy. Another reason I didn't want AF to come on that day was because last year my last AF before my BFP started on Sept 30. Now I'm lined up to O and possibly get a BFP exactly when I did last year. This is the one and only month I hope I don't get pg. It would be really hard go through the same time line again. I think I would be twice as worried as any other month. *Le sigh*




Saturday, Oct 1 KJ and I drove over to Clarion for the start of ALF week 5k. It was rainy and cold and all around gross outside. I ran anyway, but I didn't have a great time. I got 24:00 and came in 59th. I just wasn't pushing myself and was kind of disappointed because of it. Also, that day we went back to that yard sale from a few weeks ago and bought the rest of the ALF glasses that sweet old lady had. I have them all set up in my cabinet now and they look great. The search is back on for more!



On Sunday Oct 2, KJ and I went to the next town over and we both ran in the Clark Vol FD 5k. It was still cold and rainy (high of 49 degrees!), so there was hardly anyone there (42 runners!), but we ran anyways. It was KJ's first race and I was very proud of him. I also redeemed myself from the day before. KJ came in 22nd over all with 25:47 and I can in 12th over all and 1st female with 22:19, and new personal best. I was pretty proud of my time and that I won! I've never come in first before. I won a fruit basket and everything!




Monday, Oct 3 I did my CD3 blood work (even though it was cd4).


Wednesday, Oct 5 I took a half day of work and drove with my sister to Cleveland. We saw Hanson at the House of Blues!! I had such an awesome time. They are such great live performers. You know, sometimes you go see acts live and they don't sound anything like what they're supposed to. Hanson is nothing like that. They sound exactly like they do on their CDs and they're so energetic and fun to watch! The concert was by far the best I've ever been to! Life changing!




 

On Thursday, Oct 6 I had my HSG. It went pretty well. When they put the catheter in and blew up the balloon, I had a pretty bad cramp, but other than that it was fine. Everything looked good. My ute had a good shape and my tubes were clear, so that was good news. Also, I got my b/w back that day. Everything looked good except for my FSH and LH levels. They were out of balance which can be an indication of PCOS. I was pretty surprised by that. I've read over the symptoms a few times before and it's never sounded like something I had. My IF nurse sent me for more b/w and I also had an u/s done that day to check for cysts. It showed I have a small cyst on my right ovary. I'm not sure what that means. I thought I've read before that a cyst now and then is normal. I honestly haven't had time to look anything up about it.

Friday, October 7 I went in for my extra b/w and KJ had his SA drop off. He was kind of nervous about it, but got through it. After that, we headed over to Clarion for ALF. Every year on the Friday of ALF there's a huge craft fair down main street. it stretches for 12 blocks all the way from campus to the stadium. On years where the weather is nice (like this year) there's been up to a quarter of a million people all over this little college town. I officially started my Christmas shopping! I found some nice gifts for my sister and MIL. I got a cute little sign to hang in my kitchen, also.



KJ and I had a really good time catching up with all of our old college friends at ALF. A lot of KJ's friends are starting to have kids now. Last year at this time I was so sure I would have a baby to show off this weekend, or at least a nice bump. It was hard seeing everyone ooo and aww over all of these adorable babies. I tried to stay positive, though. It helped to know we're at least moving forward with the testing. Maybe someday I'll have a LO to take to ALF.



"Someday. Say it's coming soon"

Yesterday, my IF nurse called with KJ's SA results. She said he has good motility, a good amount of normal sperm, and good morphology. She did say, though, that they found white blood cells in his sample. She said it probably means that he was sick or is getting sick, and that's probably nothing. They do want him to see an urologist, though, just in case to check things out. KJ wasn't too happy about seeing a specialist, but is going to go for me. I really hope the nurse is right and it's nothing.

Today I got a new iPhone! I'm excited! This is a really big step for me. I've had the same LG flip phone since before we were married. It's still in pretty good shape, so I really didn't feel the need to upgrade. I have an iTouch, and between the two, it did pretty much everything I needed. Lately, though, I've been seeing the need more and more to get a smart phone. I wanted the GPS, camera, Internet anywhere, touch and phone all in one pretty package. I really like it so far. I'm just trying to transfer everything over now. What a pain!




Phew! That was long! If you made it all the way through, that deserves some cheese cake!

 


Lots of Love,
KJsbabe