17 Months!

17 months! That seems so old! I have an almost one and a half year old :) 

Lots of stuff has been going on this month! Lexi's big milestones are running and pretend play. This girl runs all over the house and she's a quick little thing! Her favorite is running around necked after her bath! lol I have to literally catch her to put her diaper and pj's on. 

She's also been doing a lot of pretend play, which is cute to watch. She offers her sippy to her Daniel Tiger and Little People dolls. I made a little bed out of one of her small shoe boxes for her Daniel Tiger, and she'll "put him to bed" and tuck him in with a little blanket. Adorable!! We play Little People a lot together and she mimics my play with them. It's funny, the one we call "Mommy Doll" does a lot of play laundry! Haha Guess what chore I do the most! For Christmas KJ and I got her a play kitchen from IKEA (where else!), so I think that will be really good to promote more pretend play. 

 

Lexi got her two left side molars this month. Boy was that fun! I thought the two on the right might be next, but they haven't made any progress in a couple weeks. Now it looks like either her canine or bicuspid on the bottom left is going to pop through next. 10 teeth total so far.

Now that Lexi is 17 months, the terrible twos are starting. Yeah, contrary to the name, the TT actually start closer to one and a half than two. Once they hit two, it's actually supposed to get better. I hear three is a real be-otch, though. Anyways, the tantrums are starting and they are becoming more frequent as the days pass. I've been really trying to stick to what I read in The Happiest Toddler On The Block, using toddler-eez and feeding the meter and whatnot. Some days are better than others, but I just keep reminding myself that it's a phase and it won't always be like this. *sigh* 

In an effort to teach Lexi manors, I taught her the sign for "please". She's still not talking, and sometimes she can get very demanding with her pointing and "Da-Da-Da!" So, when she starts getting demanding I ask her, "Can you say please?" And she rubs her chest and smiles. I'm trying to tech her the sign for "thank you", but she's not getting as easily as she did "please".

Lexi also loves to play hide and seek. She'll run away some where and giggle, and then I'll say, "Where's Lexi? Is she over here? Where did she go?" She'll stay hidden for a good couple minuets and the she'll run out giggling! 

 

Lexi is also a good helper around the house. She like to help me empty the dish washer. She'll pull out each piece of silver wear one by one and hand them to me to put away. Then she'll hand me each bowl and plate. We haven't broken any... Yet! After bath time at night she likes to help put her lotion on. She takes it from my hand and rubs it on her belly. She's getting really good at naming all of her body parts. I'll ask her where one is and she'll point to it. She gets shoulders and but mixed up and chin and chest mixed up. I can understand the chin and chest, but I have no idea why when I ask her where her shoulders are she pats her but! Silly girl! 

As I mentioned before, she's still not talking. She babbles all day, but no real words. She still says "No" and she's gotten better about calling KJ "Dad" or "Da-da" rather than just saying is nonsensely. Some times she'll kind of say "Mum" or "Mum-mum", but it doesn't usually seem directed at me. Sometimes it'll sound like she said a word or a phrase, but it's hard to tell if it was on purpose or just luck. These are usually one time occurrences. The other day I thought she said "cup" and "dog", but haven't heard them since.   

 Monthly pictures didn't go really well this time around. Every time I pointed the camera at her she cried :/

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Well that says it all right there. Not pregnant. For a whole day I thought for sure I was pregnant. Yesterday morning I got a shadow line on a wondof right about the ten minuet mark. It was one of those, you had to squint your eyes and hold it in just the right light at a certain angle to see it. But it was there.

I'm not crazy, right?? It's hard to see, but it's there, right??

So all day yesterday I had it in my head that I was pregnant. Of corse I immediately felt crampy and sort of more "full" in the ute area. I wasn't just maybe pregnant, I was definitely pregnant! And all I had to do was wait until this morning to test again to get a for real BFP. I was so confident, I dipped not just a wondof for testing, but an expired Clear Blue Easy, too.

Big old BFN's on both. Not even a hint of a shadow line on the wondof. 

So, I either had a very short lived CP or I got my very first evap line of some sort. I'm bummed. I have no idea what's going on in there. The only time I've ever made it past 10dpo is when I've been pregnant and I'm 13dpo today. I even took an OPK today because I read somewhere you could use one as an HPT. It popped up positive right away. So... Am I ovulating again? Or do I have like 5 HCG that's making it pop? Ugh, I wish I just knew one way or the other. I'm making myself crazy!!

I need to stop testing and take a step back. Even if I was pregnant yesterday, I'm not today.

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

Put down the peesticks and back away slowly...

Seriously, someone needs to take these things away from me. I want to pee on them all! Lol 

*sigh* So I'm 11dpo and I'm not pregnant. I've been testing all week and I should have gotten a BFP by now if I was going to get one. I'm honestly questioning if I O'd at all. I definitely geared up to, but my temps have been weird. They went up at first, like they're supposed to, but then they went down for a few days, and not in the implantation day  dip range. FF even took my CHs away for a while. Now they're back up an I don't really know why. I think my hormones are all messed up due to BFing still. Lexi caught a cold this week and so she's been wanting to nurse more that normal. 

So here are the options of what could potentially be going on:

1) My body tried to, but I didn't really O. My temps and hormones are all funky from BF. My body might try to O again, AF might show up finally, or I'm just in PP-BFing limbo. Waiting for Godot, if you will... 

2) I did O. The BFing is throwing my hormones and temps off. I am pregnant and will get a BFP in a day or two, but it'll end in a CP because I don't have enough progesterone (low temps mean low progesterone and high estrogen). BFing makes progesterone fluctuate a lot with milk production and let downs, and due to my MTHFR, I'm lacking in it to begin with.

3) I did O. The BFing is throwing my temps and hormones off. I am not pregnant, just having an awesomely long LP (my longest ever was 10 days. Before my D&C I was usually at 9 days, after I was at 7 days). I will get AF on Nov 6 giving me a perfect 15 day LP.

Right now I think #3 might be the best case scenario. Or #1 with trying to O again. But with my luck, I'm probably in PP-BFing limbo. Only time will tell, right?

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

16 Months!

Oh, my Lexi just keeps growing, and getting taller, and smarter! I love how she changes every day. Her big love this month is twirling! She spins round and round and round... I think she likes getting dizzy :) I got her some skirts to twirl in and she loves them! 

 

Lexi now has all 8 of her front teeth. 4 on top, 4 on bottom. Teething, so far, has not been bad at all. She's usually extra fussy for a day or two and then the tooth pops through and all is good again. From here on out, though, it's all canine teeth and molars... The best is yet to come! Lol Lexi has been fussy on and off for a little over a week and I think it started out as molars, but it's turned into a cold now. Her second cold ever. Poor girl has a runny nose and a chesty cough. It hasn't really effected her energy, though. She's just as rambunctious as ever. I've been giving her Hyland's Cold Tablets and they've really been helping. 

She kind of said "Mommy" the other day, but hasn't repeated it since. Still no real words other than "No". Maybe someday she'll talk!

 

Favorite books this month are "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" and "Lady and the Tramp". Ok, let me rephrase that, Lexi is OBSESSED with these two books... and only these two books! I officially have One Fish memorized and L&T isn't far behind! For an early Halloween present SMIL got her the movie of L&T and she about flipped the first time she watched it! She got so excited and then sat in her rocking chair and watched a good 45 mins of it, perfectly still! It really kept her attention. And really, of all the Disney movies she could be obsessed with, I actually really like this one :) The other day KJ found a Lady plushy at Walmart... it's her favorite! She sleeps with it every night and carries it around all the time. The only other toy she does that with is her Daniel Tiger plushy.

Oh Daniel Tiger! Lexi loves, loves Daniel Tiger! Seriously, best show ever.

 

KJ really has good taste when it comes to shopping. He picked this dress out for Lexi and it looks so cute on her!

 

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

Ask and You Shall Receive

You know, sometimes it takes a while for a prayer to be answered. And other times, God's like, "Ummm yeah, I was just waiting for you to ask...". Because apparently, all I had to do was ask!

I ovulated!! Woo hoo!! So we are officially TTC for #2!!

Lexi all of a sudden dropped down to three BFing sessions a day. I had a sudden return of CM that quickly turned into EWCM. And bamm! Positive OPK on Sunday! I had a temp spike today, so looks like I O'd yesterday. KJ and I had decent timing, so I guess we'll see what happens. I'm excited!! 

And now the 2ww starts... I'll be testing early and often :)

So, obviously I'm not naive enough to think that we'll get lucky on our first try. And as I know all too well, pregnancy does not equal take home baby. But... It's fun to be excited and think about getting a BFP next week! Going by an O date of Oct 21, I would be due 7/14/14. Just two weeks after Lexi's second birthday! Perfectly spaced babies :)

Look at all of those dates! They could be mine! 

Now, we wouldn't tell any family or friends until 12w, after a good NT scan. So, we couldn't tell at Christmas. We'd have to make the rounds to family in January, like we did with Lexi. But that would be ok. I'd have to find Lexi and adorable "Big Sister" shirt or something to wear.

*Sigh* Look at me making plans... Oh, and the roller coaster begins! 

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

Other Things in Life

I know all I really wright about is Lexi, but she's basically the center of my world right now! But let's talk about what else is going on...

I've had two sinus infections in the last two months. Sucks ass! I blame all of the snotty nose kids who run around the playground and my not being vigilant enough with the hand sanitizer. I'm currently on day 11 of my second round of sickness and it doesn't want to leave. I always seem to get sick right around this week every year. It's always right before, during, or right after ALF. ALF was actually a week early this year and good thing too or else I would have been miserable! 

Sept 27-29 was ALF (Clarion U's homecoming festival) and KJ, Lexi, and I had a good time this year. It was kind of cut short because we didn't have anyone to watch Tucker and Colby. MIL was letting them out for us, but that really doesn't cut it with them. Aussies need attention and exercise, and we didn't want to end up with a hole chewed through our wall. But other than that, we had a good time at the craft fair. There's always so many cute things to see. I got some cute winter hats for Lexi, and also a new purple tutu. The parade was fun. It was Lexi's first and she slept though it! Haha ALF was definitely different with a LO. Instead of drinking the night away like we did in college, KJ went for some drinks with our friends while I put Lexi to bed in our hotel room. It was actually a really nice night. She went down without much trouble, I had a bottle of my favorite wine, watched "Say Yes to the Dress", and was asleep by 9:30.

The week of Sept 23-27 we had new siding put on our house. Well, the bulk of it was done that week. The construction guys are still actually finishing up some little things here are there. Our house was in desperate need of being resided and we finally saved up enough money to get it done. This project was a big reason why I continued to work for as long as I did. We needed the extra money in order to save up enough. But, after a week and a half straight of men pounding on the house all day long, it's finally done and it looks great! We no longer have the crappiest looking house on the block! Yay! We are also getting a new front door put in, but it had to be special ordered, so it's not in yet. We have an older house and so none of the doors or windows (or anything else!) are "standard" size. That should be in next week, though.

Before...


And After!!


 Sept 22 was mine and KJ's 6 year wedding anniversary. MIL watched Lexi for us and we celebrated by spending a day in Pittsburgh. An Ikea trip was in order, of course. I got a nice new display case for my ALF glasses as my anniversary present, and we picked up some Christmas gifts for Lexi. We went to lunch at Steak and Shake and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Yummm!! We had a really nice time just the two of us. It's hardly ever just the two of us any more and it was really nice to reconnect. We needed that.

 Sept 21 I ran a 10k in Clarion and did really well. I crushed my old time and had a new personal best of 47:02. 6th female finisher. Really, really proud of myself!! Three years ago when I ran this particular race (the 5k) for the first time, I made it my goal to do the 10k one year. It feels really good to have met that goal and get a PB in the process!

Sept 15 was mine and KJ's 10 year dating anniversary. I can't believe it's been 10 years! We met my freshman year at Clarion, I was 18 and KJ was 21. We actually met my first day at school when I moved in. I still remember the first time I saw him, and no joke, I said to myself, " I wonder if I'll marry him?" I completely believe that when you find your sole mate, you just "know". We officially started dating three weeks later and have been together ever since. A week into dating I made my mind up that, yes, I would marry him. He didn't actually ask me until three years later, but I knew it all along! :)

Anyways, I ran the Sharon PD 5k that morning and did really well. 22:14 which is a new PB! I was also the 2nd female finisher. I got a nice plack... it'll got nicely right next to my dear rack... haha! Yeah, it's just a little "woodsy" for my taste. I hung it in our "rustic room". That afternoon, the three of us went to a weeding of our good friends. It was beautiful, but it was right in the middle of when Lexi usually naps. She was fussy the hole time. I didn't even get to see the ceremony because I had to take her outside. It was an outdoor reception, but it was very crowded. We tried to make the stroller work and it was just a great big mess. I really wish I could have enjoyed it more, but it was just not a good time for us. We left early and chilled out at home for the rest of the day.

I was having really good hair one night, so here's a good old bathroom selfie :)

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

TTC Wannabe

I feel like I'm the only one who isn't pregnant or at least TTC. I want to be TTC so badly :( I'm ready to get pg again. I'm ready to get back on the journey to completing our family. The good, the bad, I want it. I'm ready for it. I know our journey might include more losses. I pray it doesn't, but I know it's a real possibility. I'm not naive enough to think that because I had one successful pregnancy that means I can't loose any more babies. But, my doctor and I know a lot more now than during my first two pg, so there defiantly is hope.

What's standing in my way? Breastfeeding. "Natures's birth control" can suck it.  I haven't had a real period for over two years. September 30, 2011 is my LMP. Yes, I had pp bleeding after I had Lexi, but other than that, nothing. I hate that my body doesn't want to cooperate. I hate that I'm one of the "lucky few" that the pp period won't come until we've weaned. Because the thing is, I don't want to wean completely. I love the BFing relationship that Lexi and I have. Sure we had some issues at the beginning. It took her forever for to learn how to latch and we both leaned on the nipple shield too much. It took 20-30 minuets just to get her to latch sometimes! We both worked so hard to get it right and then at 4 weeks old we were home free. We had a great rhythm. Then 3 months hit and I woke up with a clogged duct one morning. By that evening I had mastitis. It was awful. KJ was no help what so ever. I was literally and figuratively a single mom. I was taking care of a 3 month old while feeling like I was dealing with the flu, all by myself. But we some how made it though. I continued to pump at work. It was a relief and huge stress all at the same time. Relieve that I got a break from my awful job, but stress that I never was able to pump enough during the day. I absolutely did not want to resort to supplementing with formula, so I would pump around the clock. Pump when I got home from work, while feeding Lexi. Pump before I went to bed. Pump first thing in the morning, while feeding Lexi. I lived on lactation cookies. It was such a relieve, in soooo many ways when I finally was able to quit my job. I can't even describe how good it felt. It was like I could breath again. No more pumping. No more stressing. No more awful customers. I am so not cut out to be a working mom and I am so, so grateful that KJ's job allowed me to be able to stay home. Thank you Lord! 

Lord, you really do know best and your timing is perfect. If I had been able to keep my first baby there's no way we would have been able to afford me staying home with him. Same with my second baby. Literally at that time, KJ and I were both making together what he now makes by himself. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I don't know why I lost two babies. I don't know why it took so long and so much. I don't know why I was blessed with such a wonderful, sweet little girl. And I don't know why it's not the right time to TTC right now. But. I do know that the Lord's timing is perfect. I do know that He will bless me with a second baby when He sees fit. I cannot see the future. I don't know what is in store for me and my family. But. I do know that The Lord will answer my prayers. Wether yes, no, or not right now. My Lord answers prayers. 

"I prayed for this child, and The Lord has granted me what I asked of him."

I'm trying my best to be patient...

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe