TTC Update

So, AF finally showed at the beginning of the month. It was really short and light, just like when I got pg with Lexi. I was totally convinced I was pg for, like, a whole day, but BFN's don't lie. And honestly now that I look back at my chart, I'm not convinced I actually O'd. My body tried to O twice, but my temps didn't stay up steadily and I had no O pain. I also only had a 5 day LP, a new low, even for me. But, as I said, after 17 months AF finally showed and with her brought a new beginning. 

This month has been a little wacky, but is looking promising. My temps have been all over the place. Super low (96.7) at the beginning and now super high (98.4) after O. (And TMI, but talk about waaaay too much EWCM! 10 days worth that I had to wear a pad for because I was soaked in a matter of hours! Yuck! I definitely did not need Pree-Seed this month! I haven't had that much since before I started BCP in college! Bleck!) I also had really clear O pains on the right so, I'm 99% sure that I actually did O. KJ and I had good timing, so now I just need my LP to hold out long enough that my little eggie can make it down in time to have a real shot at a BFP. 7dpo today and my temps are still way up! Keeping my FX for a New Year's Day BFP!

And now comes the fun part! The excited anticipation of if-I-got-pregnant-this-month-my-EDD-would-be.... September 15! Mine and KJ's dating anniversary!

*le sigh* wouldn't that be nice!

September may actually be a busy month for us. Some good friends of ours got engaged a few weeks ago and are talking about a September wedding. We're thinking KJ might be a groomsman, so we might have to work a RCS around their wedding! Haha! Lots of couples we know are getting engaged lately. KJ's youngest brother got engaged this past summer, and so did his one cousin. Then, his middle brother just got engaged on Christmas. Lots of weddings coming up in the next two years! 

In other life event news, my sister announced on Thanksgiving that she's pregnant and due "sometime" in July. I'm really happy for her as they've been "trying" for a long time (4 or 5 years of not protecting, which, come on, is not really trying...). This will also be Lexi's first real cousin that she'll get to grow up with and spend holidays with. (KJ's oldest (step) brother has two girls, 15 and 16, who are very self absorbed and we see them about once every other year, so I don't really count them) Anyways, my sister basically has no idea how far along she is. She said going by her LMP her EDD was July 5 making her 9w when she announced at Thanksgiving. Well, she went in for her first scan a few days later and was only measuring 7w3d. Cue PgAL freak out on my part! So, that pushed her EED back to July 19. Baby had a pretty strong HB of 150, so that's promising at least. She had another scan on Christmas Eve and baby was wiggling away apparently, but she didn't get a pic nor did she ask how the baby was measuring. She said her doctor said she was 12.5w (going by LMP obvs) but that her EDD was still July 19 (making her 10w3d at the time)... Sounds like she has a super stellar doc!! I told her that made no sense and that she really needs to get things straightened out with her doc! And I know that not everyone is as uptight about these things as I am, but for wanting a baby and "trying" for so long, she has a very "whatever" attitude about it all. I mean, at the very least, you should know how far along you are! Two weeks is a big difference!! Ugh!!

But anyways, I got a BFN this morning, but at 7dpo I'm just taking it as a "please try again later" FX for a BFP soon!!

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

18 Months! A Year and a Half!!

Wow! My little Lexi is a year and a half old now! It's hard to believe. You know, on one hand, I think of her and it's like she's been the same little girl all along. But then I look back and she has changed sooo much! I made a 2014 calender on Shutter Fly using her pictures from this past year, corresponding to what age she was on that month last year, and she was so tiny just one year ago. She really didn't get "big" until about 12-13 months. Like, that's when she crossed over from being an infant to a little girl, a baby to a toddler. Crazy!

Not a lot of smiles this month, but at least she let me takes some this time!

Well, Lexi had a huge milestone this month!! She's finally talking!!! She finally started to say real words about two of three weeks ago. Here is a list of her words so far:

Yuck /y

Yum /y

Yes

Duck /y

Car (ka)
Dog

Ball (ba)

By 

Wow (wawha)

Block (boc)

Drumm
Elmo (Em)

Pop (pawp)

She's getting so many and adding a new one pretty much every day or two! "Pop" was her new one today. Last week she got a drum as a gift and has been playing with it a lot. On Christmas she pointed to it from across the room and said "ma drumm"! It was very clear and everyone heard it. I was so proud that she's finally reached this milestone. 

Other milestones this month, Lexi has become an expert climber. She climbs all over the couches, stacks things to get up higher,  and scales the stairs like they're nothing. She loves to dance, and expects me to sing for her every time so she has something to dance to lol! She loves Daniel Tiger and Elmo (Netflix really needs to get the second season of DT going, because I know every episode of season 1 by heart!). She's getting better with the fork and spoon. If I walk away from the table she'll try to poke something herself, but if I'm sitting there with her she wants me to do it for her. I need to be better about saying no to simple requests like that. I know I'm not doing her any favors by babying her.

Lexi is up to 12 teeth now also. A third molar came in, top right, and her bottom left canine is through now. We are also down to BFing just two times a day now.

One thing that we really need to work on is Lexi's socialization. She's become such a Momma's girl and really seems uncomfortable in social situations. I take her to story time every Friday and ever since Halloween (she has a cold that week, so we didn't go that day) she's been awful there! All she wants to do is sit on my lap. She never wants to sit with the other kids or join in with them. When ever the teacher or one of the other kids comes up to her to say hello, she flips. She either puts her face in my chest and whimpers, or she flops and cries. Then after story time and we're reading books on our own, she might get a little adventurous and curious and want to explore, but she has to be holding my hand the whole time. She pulls me along where ever she wants to go. If I try to encourage her and say "Why don't you go and check it out by yourself? I'll be right here watching." or try to release my hand from her death grip, she plop on the floor and cries. And of course, we're in a library, so I need to keep her at least somewhat quiet. I don't know what to do with her sometimes and I feel like anything I try is the wrong thing. I'm starting to really not like taking her there because I know it won't go well, but I know avoidance won't solve the problem. I need to find more activities and kids for her to play with. It's hard finding IRL friends :(

Lexi got a lot of nice gift for Christmas. KJ and I got her a play kitchen from Ikea (where else!) with some accessories, a wooden train set (also Ikea), some Daniel Tiger toys, among other odds and ends. She also got some musical instruments, clothes (quickly moving into 24m already!), a doll with hair you can brush (she loves to brush hair! She's more interested in the puppy that came with the doll, though!), and a doll stroller. It was a really nice Christmas all around :)

Lots of Love,
KJsbabe

I Think of You

I think of you Little One. I think of you every day. You are in my heart always. You are not forgotten. Three years now since we said goodbye and I still miss you. I still remember how hard it was to let you go and say goodbye. I still have a special place in my heart where I tuck you away and keep you. You are with me everywhere and always. I miss you Little One. Today and every day, I miss you.

Until we meet again,
I love you,

Mommy

17 Months!

17 months! That seems so old! I have an almost one and a half year old :) 

Lots of stuff has been going on this month! Lexi's big milestones are running and pretend play. This girl runs all over the house and she's a quick little thing! Her favorite is running around necked after her bath! lol I have to literally catch her to put her diaper and pj's on. 

She's also been doing a lot of pretend play, which is cute to watch. She offers her sippy to her Daniel Tiger and Little People dolls. I made a little bed out of one of her small shoe boxes for her Daniel Tiger, and she'll "put him to bed" and tuck him in with a little blanket. Adorable!! We play Little People a lot together and she mimics my play with them. It's funny, the one we call "Mommy Doll" does a lot of play laundry! Haha Guess what chore I do the most! For Christmas KJ and I got her a play kitchen from IKEA (where else!), so I think that will be really good to promote more pretend play. 

 

Lexi got her two left side molars this month. Boy was that fun! I thought the two on the right might be next, but they haven't made any progress in a couple weeks. Now it looks like either her canine or bicuspid on the bottom left is going to pop through next. 10 teeth total so far.

Now that Lexi is 17 months, the terrible twos are starting. Yeah, contrary to the name, the TT actually start closer to one and a half than two. Once they hit two, it's actually supposed to get better. I hear three is a real be-otch, though. Anyways, the tantrums are starting and they are becoming more frequent as the days pass. I've been really trying to stick to what I read in The Happiest Toddler On The Block, using toddler-eez and feeding the meter and whatnot. Some days are better than others, but I just keep reminding myself that it's a phase and it won't always be like this. *sigh* 

In an effort to teach Lexi manors, I taught her the sign for "please". She's still not talking, and sometimes she can get very demanding with her pointing and "Da-Da-Da!" So, when she starts getting demanding I ask her, "Can you say please?" And she rubs her chest and smiles. I'm trying to tech her the sign for "thank you", but she's not getting as easily as she did "please".

Lexi also loves to play hide and seek. She'll run away some where and giggle, and then I'll say, "Where's Lexi? Is she over here? Where did she go?" She'll stay hidden for a good couple minuets and the she'll run out giggling! 

 

Lexi is also a good helper around the house. She like to help me empty the dish washer. She'll pull out each piece of silver wear one by one and hand them to me to put away. Then she'll hand me each bowl and plate. We haven't broken any... Yet! After bath time at night she likes to help put her lotion on. She takes it from my hand and rubs it on her belly. She's getting really good at naming all of her body parts. I'll ask her where one is and she'll point to it. She gets shoulders and but mixed up and chin and chest mixed up. I can understand the chin and chest, but I have no idea why when I ask her where her shoulders are she pats her but! Silly girl! 

As I mentioned before, she's still not talking. She babbles all day, but no real words. She still says "No" and she's gotten better about calling KJ "Dad" or "Da-da" rather than just saying is nonsensely. Some times she'll kind of say "Mum" or "Mum-mum", but it doesn't usually seem directed at me. Sometimes it'll sound like she said a word or a phrase, but it's hard to tell if it was on purpose or just luck. These are usually one time occurrences. The other day I thought she said "cup" and "dog", but haven't heard them since.   

 Monthly pictures didn't go really well this time around. Every time I pointed the camera at her she cried :/

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Well that says it all right there. Not pregnant. For a whole day I thought for sure I was pregnant. Yesterday morning I got a shadow line on a wondof right about the ten minuet mark. It was one of those, you had to squint your eyes and hold it in just the right light at a certain angle to see it. But it was there.

I'm not crazy, right?? It's hard to see, but it's there, right??

So all day yesterday I had it in my head that I was pregnant. Of corse I immediately felt crampy and sort of more "full" in the ute area. I wasn't just maybe pregnant, I was definitely pregnant! And all I had to do was wait until this morning to test again to get a for real BFP. I was so confident, I dipped not just a wondof for testing, but an expired Clear Blue Easy, too.

Big old BFN's on both. Not even a hint of a shadow line on the wondof. 

So, I either had a very short lived CP or I got my very first evap line of some sort. I'm bummed. I have no idea what's going on in there. The only time I've ever made it past 10dpo is when I've been pregnant and I'm 13dpo today. I even took an OPK today because I read somewhere you could use one as an HPT. It popped up positive right away. So... Am I ovulating again? Or do I have like 5 HCG that's making it pop? Ugh, I wish I just knew one way or the other. I'm making myself crazy!!

I need to stop testing and take a step back. Even if I was pregnant yesterday, I'm not today.

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

Put down the peesticks and back away slowly...

Seriously, someone needs to take these things away from me. I want to pee on them all! Lol 

*sigh* So I'm 11dpo and I'm not pregnant. I've been testing all week and I should have gotten a BFP by now if I was going to get one. I'm honestly questioning if I O'd at all. I definitely geared up to, but my temps have been weird. They went up at first, like they're supposed to, but then they went down for a few days, and not in the implantation day  dip range. FF even took my CHs away for a while. Now they're back up an I don't really know why. I think my hormones are all messed up due to BFing still. Lexi caught a cold this week and so she's been wanting to nurse more that normal. 

So here are the options of what could potentially be going on:

1) My body tried to, but I didn't really O. My temps and hormones are all funky from BF. My body might try to O again, AF might show up finally, or I'm just in PP-BFing limbo. Waiting for Godot, if you will... 

2) I did O. The BFing is throwing my hormones and temps off. I am pregnant and will get a BFP in a day or two, but it'll end in a CP because I don't have enough progesterone (low temps mean low progesterone and high estrogen). BFing makes progesterone fluctuate a lot with milk production and let downs, and due to my MTHFR, I'm lacking in it to begin with.

3) I did O. The BFing is throwing my temps and hormones off. I am not pregnant, just having an awesomely long LP (my longest ever was 10 days. Before my D&C I was usually at 9 days, after I was at 7 days). I will get AF on Nov 6 giving me a perfect 15 day LP.

Right now I think #3 might be the best case scenario. Or #1 with trying to O again. But with my luck, I'm probably in PP-BFing limbo. Only time will tell, right?

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe

16 Months!

Oh, my Lexi just keeps growing, and getting taller, and smarter! I love how she changes every day. Her big love this month is twirling! She spins round and round and round... I think she likes getting dizzy :) I got her some skirts to twirl in and she loves them! 

 

Lexi now has all 8 of her front teeth. 4 on top, 4 on bottom. Teething, so far, has not been bad at all. She's usually extra fussy for a day or two and then the tooth pops through and all is good again. From here on out, though, it's all canine teeth and molars... The best is yet to come! Lol Lexi has been fussy on and off for a little over a week and I think it started out as molars, but it's turned into a cold now. Her second cold ever. Poor girl has a runny nose and a chesty cough. It hasn't really effected her energy, though. She's just as rambunctious as ever. I've been giving her Hyland's Cold Tablets and they've really been helping. 

She kind of said "Mommy" the other day, but hasn't repeated it since. Still no real words other than "No". Maybe someday she'll talk!

 

Favorite books this month are "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" and "Lady and the Tramp". Ok, let me rephrase that, Lexi is OBSESSED with these two books... and only these two books! I officially have One Fish memorized and L&T isn't far behind! For an early Halloween present SMIL got her the movie of L&T and she about flipped the first time she watched it! She got so excited and then sat in her rocking chair and watched a good 45 mins of it, perfectly still! It really kept her attention. And really, of all the Disney movies she could be obsessed with, I actually really like this one :) The other day KJ found a Lady plushy at Walmart... it's her favorite! She sleeps with it every night and carries it around all the time. The only other toy she does that with is her Daniel Tiger plushy.

Oh Daniel Tiger! Lexi loves, loves Daniel Tiger! Seriously, best show ever.

 

KJ really has good taste when it comes to shopping. He picked this dress out for Lexi and it looks so cute on her!

 

Lots of Love,

KJsbabe